a journal of experience

 15th april - 26th april pelatnas 2 experience i guess

this is mostly a continuation of pelatnas 1 complaints im not gonna lie, the grading is still shit and sometimes i really just think when im inside those walls, it makes me think of killing myself because of how useless doing this stupid bullshit really is. arguing and working overtime over something that will probably not make a big of an impact on myself, but atleast i got to know how to do presentation better in english even though its really embarassing me sometimes. also inside those walls i taught myself that actually, dopamine is really useful and really moving everything man, like damnnnn. entertainment actually matters to everything and really just generally being happy matters in life, not locking myself up in the same place for 10 days and then also not getting anytime outside with the sun actually ruined my physical health and also my mental health i swear to god bro

this shit was so fucked i started to just sleep right after working just because i know atleast id have resetted my dopemine levels tomorrow after sleeping so i could feel better, or maybe id pump one or two if i have time, and time was such a precious commodity there it actually made me think that i need to invest my time on doing better things and just use this free time i have left in this world to actually better myself and make myself happy.

alright so that was mostly just my feelings about pelatnas and my experiences, there i found out that people have their own ego, and there are ways to really multiply them, in this its basically competition and feeling as if they are better than the others, even i also get these types of feelings sometimes and i need to stop it not gonna lie, its gonna ruin everything man if i keep thinking like that, like im literally just so shit at this its actually insane bro omg i swear to god my rate of learning is like a normal human and they're all like superhumans with super ability to think and also remember it makes me feel like shit.

 when i was with a professor teaching, i embarassed myself by stuttering when answering the question and like oh my god thats so fucking embarassing i swear to god bruhhhhh, and also in the interview test she misunderstood what i said and that probably flunked my grades to the bottom of hell lmao, ima just accept that im probably not gonna be able to go and be indonesia's representative in the 2025's IEO, so well... its kinda hard but i also didnt really study so idk im not gonna say i deserve it anyways, they all probably had also studied hard before pelatnas 2 so i think its for the best that i lost in this one. welp just keep pushing i guess

in the 14 days that i abandoned my mining facilities, it actually grew in userbase into the 300's and also has now around 40kh/s per day consistent revenue, which is actually pretty cool too i guess! so im just gonna keep on improving and doing this also

okay so for my plans after pelatnas, i think im just gonna continue studying cybersecurity or maybe coding in general because i have some really good app ideas thats gonna be amazing if i can go and implement it actually! yippie!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think im gonna continue the C programming book and then continue on with CPP and see whats up after that

alright so thats it i guess, so the most important thing here is to just keep pushing and never give up, like this recipe has served me well so many times, im not going to abandon it anymore, and also a side note: please have some fun some times its really worth it i promise, that 1 hour just that once isnt going to ruin everything youve ever build, so enjoy it man! you deserve it.

for my future self: i hope i solved my problems of addiction and is also able to be financially free from my parents in terms of being able to serve myself the basic necessities, and if you can, also please apply to NTU or NUS! i hope you get accepted, sincerely veryl.