failure

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 why am i so afraid of it? 

i genuinely don't know the reason behind it. i guess it's just human nature.

today i tried to fix my phone with a broken display, i almost did it but i got stuck and i couldn't continue because i didn't have the right tools for it. what a fool i am.

it really hurts, seeing yourself being so close to salvation but then ultimately losing everything. it made me learn to accept that im just incompetent at everything, wow.

 speaking of failures, i have a big event coming up that can change the trajectory of my future. it's a hard one to win, yeah but i want to win it. seeing everyone being so good at what they do makes me feel like i haven't worked hard enough. it's as if all i do is just laze around, even though im not? inferiority complex is getting to me..

i hate thinking too much because it ruins whatever fun i have in my life. i wish i can be like others and just be satisfied with mediocrity. but i will do everything i can to satisfy my spiritual self, because the path to hell is paved with good intentions.

 


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